How To Be A Food Critic: by Perky, Sparkle, Don Don and Billy Bob

"If you're in a Chinese restaurant and you see a lump of something green, NEVER eat it!" -Billy Bob

"Always hang on to your chopsticks. You don't want them to end up halfway across the room!" -Sparkle

"If you're served something and you don't know what it is, eat it just to be safe," -Perky

"NEVER JUMP AFTER EATING!!!!" -Don Don

"Don't jump on the hair of the chef. It's rude," -Perky

"And lastly, always remember to help someone put on their shoes! Wait, what--? That's not part of being a food critic? Oh well. But it's manners!" -Billy Bob

Tackling Water, Perky-Style

For some reason, Perky was on a side trip to a bridge on the way home from New Hampshire. Billy Bob was afraid of heights, and Sparkle....well, who knew where Sparkle was?

"Wow, that's a lot of water...."

Wanting to get closer but not wanting to jump into the water, Perky settled for sitting on the bridge that rose just above the water.

"I can't fall....right?"

Another bridge later, Perky was really ready to fall, this time from a high stone under the bridge onto a beach.

"How'd I get up here in the first place?"

 Yet another sight caught Perky's eyes on the highway home, and its name was Silver Cascade. Being the curious pig he was, Perky had to check it out.

"If you could see how high up it actually was, you'd be a curious pig too!"

The river was only a mile away, yet it managed to drag Perky's eyes a very long distance as he raced to sit on top of a rock before the current got to him. As he reached the top, he told himself that this would be the last body of water he explored.

"THERE'S SO MUCH WATER! Good thing I know how to swim...I think...."

As soon as Perky scrambled off of the rock, Billy Bob and Sparkle were there with a map, ready to help the traveling pig find his next location.

"I'm not so sure we're going in the right direction...."

Sparkle then saw a bridge and suggested that the trio visited it. When they got there, however, it was obvious that Billy Bob would not be able to make the journey. So Sparkle stayed behind with him while Perky ventured on alone.

"Can I do the 'Gangnam Style' across the bridge?"

Once assured that, no, he could not do the Gangnam Style across the bridge, Perky, Billy Bob and Sparkle decided to take the better view from a rock high up on a mountain.

"ARE YOU SURE WE'RE NOT GOING TO FALL??????" -Billy Bob

It took several attempts to comfort the poor hippo and coax him down from the rock. After, several cookies were needed to calm him down and restore him back to his chipper self.

"Mmmm...who would've thought that mint cookies would taste so good?"

At that point, Perky thought that there had been enough adventure for one day, and decided that a rest for the group was in order.

"Why am I the only one sleeping on a rock?"

Game Night!

Competitive-ness was in the air as Sparkle, Don Don, Billy Bob and Perky settled down for their annual Game Night-it was only once a year as Billy Bob got very disappointed when he lost, and a disappointed hippo was heartbreaking.

The four started off with a game of basketball, but only Sparkle could actually shoot the ball.

"I CAN GET THREE POINTS!!!"

Not wanting to be outdone, Don Don aimed for a shot at the net.

"Five PigStoppers says that I can get the ball in!"

Perky and Billy Bob decided that revenge was in order against the two teacup pigs, and thought that they would, in the form of Big Trouble.

"What do you mean I'm in big trouble?" -Don Don

Seeing that Billy Bob was behind all of the trouble, Don Don challenged him to a game of checkers, something that Don Don knew he was good at.

"KING ME, PERKY!" -Sparkle

By then, Billy Bob's competitive spirit was flowing, and he was on a pretty good winning streak. He decided to challenge the teacup pigs to a game of chess. Perky, who had no idea how to play chess, just sat there and tried to look like he knew what he was doing.

"I am this close to getting my queen back!" -Billy Bob

To even out the competitive spirit, Sparkle suggested a game of Parcheesi. This time, Perky didn't even bother hiding his confusion. It took several minutes to explain the rules to the poor pig, and Perky still only understood half of the words.

"Who says I can't lay in the middle of the board?" -Billy Bob

Much to Don Don's chagrin, the only way to get Billy Bob off of the board was to play his most hated game-dominoes. Still, as long as it got Billy Bob off of the board, he'd do anything.

"Hmmm....I want to add a double six, but I"m pretty sure I can' t do that!" -Sparkle

The four wound down the day by playing one last game-the Sleeping Door.

"OH MY GOSH!!!!! IT'S A CLOCK!!!!!!!!" -everyone

Billy Bob went off to his chambers to take a bath, which meant Perky, Sparkle, and Don Don were free to go to sleep. All three pigs swore that they would never have Game Night again-until next year.

"I miss Billy Bob already," -Sparkle

Atlantic City!

Perky, Sparkle and Billy Bob were off to Atlantic City! And they were pretty sure they weren't going to gamble. Until, that was, they wound up at the Taj Mahal...

"Pffft! Is that water?"

Perky convinced Sparkle and Billy Bob to have just one look inside of the casino. While no gambling was done, there was much hanging off of high places...

"If I fall, Billy Bob, you can have my secret stash of chocolate cake!"

It was then that Perky spotted a large candy store, and like the casino, he HAD to just have one look. This time, neither Billy Bob nor Sparkle needed convincing. Once inside, Billy Bob and Perky made a beeline for the giant box of Nerds while Sparkle became intrigued by a large gummy bear.

"I CALL DIBS ON THE STRAWBERRY!" -Perky

Sparkle had moved on to a giant lollipop, which was made of 100% marshmallow. He wanted to eat it, but he couldn't.

"What's a pig gotta do to get some sugar around here?"

Back over at the Nerds box, Perky and Billy Bob were horrifyingly staring at an empty box of Nerds. In a store, no less! They quickly fled to a Dubble Bubble pillow so that they couldn't be traced to the crime. Sparkle soon joined them there.

"We didn't do it, we swear!"

When they saw that the coast was clear, Sparkle and Perky went to investigate a giant gobstopper on Sparkle's behalf. Perky made Sparkle promise that he wouldn't eat it.

"Perky, why would I eat this? I'm too small!" -Sparkle

After escaping from the store safely, Perky, Billy Bob, and Sparkle stopped at a pizza joint for lunch.

"What's this look like to you, Perkster?" -Billy Bob

The pizza was quickly wolfed down, so Perky, Billy Bob, and Sparkle went to Ocean City, where they couldn't resist posing in the face of a giant flip-flop.

"This flip-flop has a bigger eye than I do!" -Billy Bob

It was then over to historic Smithville, where Perky and Billy Bob were munching away on some yummy bread in less than five minutes.

"Mmm, yummers, I taste the onions..."

Billy Bob suggested that Perky try his hoof at driving a boat. Much to their disappointment, the boats hadn't even been put out.

"Okay, Billy Bob, I'll drive you work the shift," _Perky
"But Perky! I don't drive!" -Billy Bob

After Billy Bob nearly sank them both, Perky decided that the three would try their hooves at something easier-Pac Man. Which was easier said than done...

"I don't know how to hit A and B! I can't do both at the same time!" -Sparkle

Perky, Billy Bob, and Sparkle gave up on the fun for the day, and retreated back into their lair to earn some well-earned sleep.