Cape Cod: Day 1

A pig heading off to Cape Cod is a rare sight. But what's even more rare is a pig heading to Cape Cod that's named Perky...with another pig, Don Don, and a hippo named Billy Bob. Not to mention a duck named Skittle.


"Perky, I think you're sitting on my head..."- Billy Bob

The trio started off the day by hitting the shipyard, in awe of all of its fishing boats. Billy Bob was too scared of the water, so Perky and Don Don braved the rock alone.

"Don't worry, Don Don, I've got you,"

Back on dry land, Perky and Billy Bob had a snack of fried bean mix. Needless to say, it was clear who was going to later have the runs.

"Billy Bob, I think I smell your farts already....this isn't supposed to give you gas!!!!"

The gang headed to Veterans Park Beach, where the sand was slightly rocky. Perky chose to walk on the rocks instead, where the sound of the surf was quite comforting.

"Whew, this wind is cold..."

As a joke, Don Don, Billy Bob and Skittle decided to bury Perky up to his head in the sand. They'd hadn't had any fun all day, and burying Perky was one of the funniest things they'd done by far.

"This isn't funny, guys. I'd like to get out of here. Guys..? Billy Bob? Skittle?? HEY! NO! YOU COME BACK HERE..."

With a few threats, Perky managed to convince Billy Bob to dig him out of the hole. He then started looking for seashells, picking up only the shiny ones. After a half hour, he plopped down, tired as a pighog.

"Ooh....I think this one's still alive..."

What better way to burn more energy than to go to a playground? Better yet, the playground was only a few years away. With a giant jungle gym, no less. But Perky wasn't counting on Don Don being afraid of heights. This made it pretty hard to get him off.

"Don't look down, Don Don!"

It took a few tries (not to mention an hour and a half) to coax the poor teacup pig from his spot. When he got down, Perky vowed never to take Don Don to Mount Everest. Not on his watch. After a quick lunch, Perky and Don Don went biking at Nickerson State Park while Skittle and Billy Bob went kyaking.

"I can't reach the handle!" Perky
"I can't reach the pedals!!!" -Don Don

The swampland behind them seemed very tempting to Perky, and Don Don had to remind him that he was a sophisticated pig. So Perky had to make do with taking a picture.

But all was forgotten when Perky saw the dinosaur horn. He just HAD to squeeze it, whether it was his or not.

"*SQUEAK* Teehee!"

At this point, Perky was in a trying mood. So of course, he had to try on multiple helmets. Even though this wasn't a store.

"Does anyone think this makes my head look fat?"

Don Don , of course, did anything that Perky did-he'd become Perky's little shadow. It turns out he didn't fit the helmet so well, though.

"Oh my gosh! It's the Grand Canyon!"

What a tiring day for Perky it was. He was so tired, he ended up falling asleep right in the helmet. Don Don, the wonderful little (literally) pig he was, decided not to disturb him, leaving him for the next day. 

Chilling

Perky was feeling extremely bored today, so he decided to call up his friend Billy Bob the hippo to see if he'd hang out with him.

"Hello? Hi! Is Billy Bob there?"

 It turns out, Billy Bob lived a long time away. So Perky decided to pick his outfit while he waited.

"Um...I think my hair looks kinda puffy...."

 Still waiting for the hippo, Perky decided to hang out with his cousins, the Angry Bird Pigs.

"Don't we look alike?"

 Perky wanted to surprise Billy Bob when he walked in the door.

"Shhh! No one needs to know..."

 Billy Bob still hadn't come, so Perky decided to stake out somewhere else.

"Hey! Um...are you sure this vase is see-through?"

Just then, someone flushed the toilet, and Perky jumped for a hiding spot.

"Wow, this towel is fluffy..."

Perky's cousin, Rice Rose, came downstairs to hang out with Perky until Billy Bob's arrival.

"Um, Rice? I think this is a little high up..."

"Rice, stop eating the tofu!!"

Perky then decided to watch some TV, as he knew that he couldn't miss "The Finder,"

" 'Desperate Housewives'... 'I Hate My Teenage Daughter'...'2 Broke Girls'...ooh,  'The Finder'! Yay, Isabel!"

Perky decided he needed a snack while he watched U.S. Deputy Marshal Isabel Zambada beat people up.

"Mmm, I think I found a pineapple one..."

Finally, Billy Bob arrived. Perky was extremely glad to see him.

"Er...I think I'm stuck in this window...little help here?"

The two immediately set off in their plans of fun.

"Look, Billy Bob! A hundred-dollar bill!"

After becoming exhausted counting all of the money, Perky and Billy Bob chilled out on the humidifier.

"Uh, Perky...does the humidifier smell or was that your fart?" 

The two took a quick nap to build up their energy for the next three hours of fun.

"Wow, Billy Bob, your foot is cold..."

Upon waking up, Perky and Billy Bob were shocked to find out how much food they had eaten.

"We weigh HOW MUCH????"

Billy Bob decided that Perky couldn't afford to eat any more food. Not without working out.

"Whaddya mean you can't reach the pedals????"

Billy Bob quickly figured out that Perky was too short to use the bike. So he found another method to burn calories.

"Are you sure this works?"

The lights quickly proved unsatisfactory. Billy Bob and Perky tried the Ab Roller next.

"1...2...3...OUCH! I just fell off!" 

Deciding to call it a day, Perky and Billy Bob began their nightly routine.

"Hee hee...this toothbrush feels funny,"

'WAIT!!!! I don't have teeth!!!"

As per usual, Perky and Billy Bob wouldn't sleep without a bath.

"Where's my water???"

A bout of nightly reading was in order-one look through the Justice catalog.

"I want the popcorn shirt!"

And so Perky's eventful day with Billy Bob came to an end.

New York: Day 4

Perky's last day in New York was relatively breif, as he had to get home, and it was a looong four-hour drive.

Wanting to be able to tell time, Perky posed on a sundial...only to find out it wasn't so accurate.

"This sundial ain't so accurate..."

Hating heights, Perky decided to get his "Brooklyn Bridge" shot...far, far away.

"The Brooklyn Bridge without the heights!"

Sitting on this pedestal might not seem like much, but Perky felt invincible.

"I'm on top of the world!!"

Perky chills out on a bike rack waiting in line to get into a pizza restauraunt.

"Man, I want my pizza..."

Unfortunately, no matter how hard he protested, Perky ended up on the Brooklyn Bridge anyways. He hated heights. Hated, hated, hated  them. But once he was up there, the distance didn't seem too bad... 

"WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS???!!!"

 On the car ride home, Perky put some Adele in his ear to relax the ride away.

"Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds...-Rumor Has It"



New York: Day 3

The third day of Perky's travels brought him to the 9/11 memorial. The guards were only too happy to let him in. He is a cute pig, after all.
Not knowing the history of the 9/11 tree, Perky agreed to take a  picture in front of it on the condition that somebody tell him what was going on.

"Wow, this is a famous tree,"

Back in the modern perimeter of Burger King, Perky ate his way through three chicken sandwiches and a large Coke. Not to mention a large order of fries.

"Um, I think some Coke is dripping down the side..."

"How many fries do I have left?"

Sitting on the statue's head, Perky proceeded to give any passerby a look that tried to look into the man's suitcase. Nobody dared to tell him the the man was a statue.

"It's not nice to look over someone's shoulder while they're working!"

Upon seeing the great president during his trip to Wall Street, Perky jumped at the chance to sit on his foot. Luckily, that's all he did....

"I sat on George Washington's foot!"

Perky got special clearance to sit on this bull's head. The guard had noticed him trying to get on the bull from across the street, so he made his way over and generously allowed Perky to sit on the bull's head without having to wait in line. The bull, he told Perky, represents a stock market uprise. Perky could only nod cluelessly-he didn't know a thing about the economy.

"Um, why is the bull glaring at me...?"

Sitting on the ferry to Staten Island, Perky looked out the window and admired the beautiful...brown...water. Consequentally, unlike other pigs, he didn't get seasick. Perky chalked that up to the fact the he was a "sophisticated pig,"

"I don't feel nauseous at all!"

 To take his mind off of the boat, Perky settled down to a snack of rainbow cookies. Boy, did he love those cookies. They were stacked everywhere at home...

"I'd like to thank the genuis who brought along rainbow cookies..."

But an even greater rainbow cookie was in store for Perky...

"This can't be true! I must be dreaming!!"

After devouring his giant raibow cookie, Perky went to curiously watch the fish. The fish didn't watch back, and Perky was perfectly fine with that.

"Thank goodness I don't live in water.."

It was an unusually long wait for the train, so Perky decided to go take some pictures...to prove that he'd taken the New York train.

"42nd Street and Times Square!!"